Doctor Dinero's Discussions
Bureau of Labor and Statistics is looking for a degreed statistician who can use their creativity to manipulate inputs so the desired results are obtained. Anticipate long hours in the next few months to hide the hyperinflationary effects of the Federal Reserve and the US Government. The current inflation indexes have been geared to hide inflation via the Asian Labor arbitrage. With the imminent dollar devaluation, we expect a complete overhaul of the indexes will be necessary. Applicant must be willing to not use common sense, ignore historical trends, and have questionable morals.
Experience with manipulating derivative valuations a plus. Work experience with ERON, Arthur Andersen, Fannie Mae, or Freddie Mac highly desirable.
For the right candidate, the pay will be lots of newly created Federal Reserve Notes, with substantial bonus potential based on ability to manipulate the CPI. Position available immediately.
Qualified candidates should send their resume to wegonna.weimar@BLS.gov
Disclaimer: Please do not take the above help wanted add seriously.
1 October 2004
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