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 Did They Really Say That? By Joe Average "You've got to recognize there are limits to how much corn can be used for ethanol. I mean…after all…we got to eat some." "The (real estate) boom is over. I think I can safely say that with a strong degree of confidence." "There are no real estate bubbles, only balloons that expand and contract." "They will be going to Club Fed (jail, instead of holiday camp Club Med)… you usually meet your local politician, your bank president and nowadays, your corporate CFO there." Sheldon Zenner, legal expert, on former Enron executives Ken Lay & Jeffrey Skilling. Australians were glued to T.V. sets for two weeks as they followed attempts to rescue two miners trapped deep underground. Sensing a brilliant marketing opportunity, the makers of "Sustagen" ("a great tasting dietary supplement"… www.sustagen.com.au ) had rescuers deliver their product to the entombed miners to help keep them alive. Upon reaching the surface the rescued miners returned the favour by saying they… "wouldn't feed it to their dog!"… and that one lesson they'd learned being trapped underground for two weeks was… "don't drink Sustagen!" The product's marketers soon found themselves scrambling into damage-control-mode, countering that the miner's first experience with the supplement had been "under highly stressful circumstances". "The Stone Age didn't end because we ran out of stone. And the oil age won't end because we run out of oil." "You spend the first year wondering how you ever got elected to government in the first place…you spend the next ten years wondering how the heck all the others got there." "Even in the United States, which has 200 years of democratic history, most of its Presidents were only of mediocre calibre." "We are in a Catholic marriage with America. But we are Muslims…we can have more than one wife." "Women don't make it to the top (as creative directors) because they don't deserve to… because they're crap." "Hitler would be like a suckling baby next to George W. Bush." "Frankly, to call her (potential Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton) an 800-pound gorilla would be underselling her." "We will win because we are not coglione!" Then Prime Minister of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi…he lost! (* "Coglione"…Italian word for testicle…slang for "stupid asshole".) "We have worked a lot. Only Napoleon did more than me…but I am certainly taller than him." "I am the Jesus Christ of politics. I am a patient victim, I put up with everyone. I sacrifice myself for everyone." "Italy is a great country to invest in…Today we have fewer communists, and those who are still there deny having been one. Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries…superb girls." ""I'm driven with a mission from God. God would tell me 'George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan'…and I did. And then God would tell me 'George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq'…and I did. And now, again, I feel God's words coming to me 'Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East'…and by God, I'm gonna do it." "Doctors aren't supposed to feel sorry for their patients. They're supposed to fix them." "This sh*t ain't going anywhere." "You are a f***ing idiot." All the
best, Joe. Disclaimer: This newsletter is written for educational purposes only. It
should not be construed as advice to buy, hold or sell any financial instrument
whatsoever. The author is merely expressing his own personal opinion and will
not assume any responsibility whatsoever for the actions of the reader. Always
consult a licensed investment professional before making any investment
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