And the Beat Goes On!

June 22, 2001

I think I've got the stock market figured out for this year. It's a quarterly thing you see. At the beginning of the economic quarter hope is high, Mr. Magoo cuts interest rates and the whore media chirps in; presto, a stock market surge. As the quarter progresses, economic reality sets in and stocks slide steadily until the next cycle starts. For instance, Mr. Magoo cut interest rates in January and the bulls brayed loudly for the next several weeks. However, as March opened the dismal science returns with a vengeance and stocks slide. The cycle begins again in April with the slide starting right on cue during June. So, we can look for further stock slides for the next few days until the cycle starts again. Only Mr. Magoo is running out of tricks.

Mr. Magoo and the bulls remind me of Hitler in the final weeks of World War Two. Crazed and demented leadership refusing to face reality is how I see it. Once the Americans crossed the Rhine in March 1945, Hitler was reduced to sending out a total of three antitank vehicles to stop them. Not the three thousand tanks used against Russia; not even the 200 of an armored division, or even the 30 of a reduced strength battalion: no, he sent out a platoon against multiple divisions. Likewise, Mr. Magoo is reduced to the same level of impotence in his economic duties. The man needs a large dose of economic Viagra and he needs it now!

The question then becomes what will Mr. Magoo do in July to save the stock market? It's obvious that he doesn't care about the fiat dollar, or even the greater economy: he just wants to save his ass on the stock market. Unfortunately for Mr. Magoo, he's running on vapors and fumes. Will he cut interest rates again? Who knows and who cares? Do you think the Russians storming Berlin were intimidated by the old men and boys Hitler sent out against them? Why does Mr. Magoo think the recession Sabre Tooth Tiger will be impressed by his interest rate cuts of Vienna sausages? This recession beast is looking for the filet mignon. No beanie weenies for Mr. recession this time around. Nope, Mr. Magoo and his gang of yahoos don't have a clue. In fact, Mr. Magoo was just quoted as saying inflation isn't a problem. You have to admire the man for his persistence in the face of economic data, facts and reality. Mr. Magoo isn't going to let something like reality intrude upon his economic fantasies. I fantasize and therefore I am is his motto.

Speaking of the recession, the one that we're told doesn't exist, and even if it did wouldn't last long-yes, that one. Recessions, like fish and in-laws, stink after three days, or three quarters in this case. A digression about economic quarters and years for those of you who snidely imply that I never actually teach you any economics in my essays. It's not my fault if you are so dazzled by my entertainment ability that you don't realize I educate you in every single one of my essays. Slipping in the old needle while I distract the patient, something I used to do as an Army medic. Ideally, the pneumatic needle was in the unsuspecting trooper before he realized my bullshitting had a purpose. I warned you I was a sly dog didn't I? Anyway, an economic quarter refers to three months. The economic, or fiscal, year can be the calendar year, January 1 to December 31st or several other configurations. The Japanese fiscal year runs from April 1st to March 30th and some American states run from July 1st to June 30th. The fiscal year of the United States runs from October 1st to September 30th. Foreign readers can now understand the fiscal anarchy which breaks out every October in the Federal government. The money runs out by September 30th; it takes several weeks into October for those incompetent sleazeballs, otherwise known as our political leadership, to wind up the economic jack in the box for the next year. If it impacted their pensions no doubt things would move faster. But hey, it's all a matter of priorities. In brief, this is what is meant by the fiscal year and economic quarters.

For most economic purposes, the calendar year is used by the lapdog, bow wow media. Hence, the second half recovery should begin by July 1st, and certainly no later than July 4th. But wait Mr. Magoo, how can a recovery start in less than two weeks? Could it be that America isn't going to get a second half recovery at all? Could it be America is already in recession and has been for months? Oh my- Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh my. Could it be that, gasp, all those raving lunatics at GOLD-EAGLE.com have been right? Especially the ravingest of them all that McIntosh guy? I'd like you to know that I invented the rave party decades before it become popular. I just don't foam at the mouth as much as I used to when I was younger and wilder. My first rave was back in 1979 when I got into a discussion with other young people about the Social Security fraud. They promptly left and threatened to call animal control, but fortunately my record has been expunged by now.

Mr. V sent me a chart that measures job layoffs over the last several years. It literally goes nearly straight up starting in January of 2001. Manufacturing, what's left of it anyway, has declined for the last eight months in a row. The list goes on. No need to belabor the point. It's said you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. I disagree: you just have to kick it in the butt a few times. Here I am, faithfully kicking America's rear end to get them to see reality. And remember, America is the greatest country in the world because people like me get to kick it regularly. Otherwise, we'd be like Mexico or Russia. A patriot that's what I am. Yep, an ass kicking American patriot. Move over Tom Paine.

One cubic foot of gold weighs more than half a ton (1,306 pounds).

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