Janet Yellen Is Destined To Be The Best Fed Chairman Of All Time

April 1, 2014

Janet Yellen has only been Chairman of the Federal Reserve for less than two months and I am already convinced that she is the best thing to happen since Barack O'Bomber was first elected and awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.

There are a number of reasons for that.

First, as we can see by her speech yesterday she is going to be a laugh riot.  And, secondly, all of her actions will undoubtedly, indisuptably destroy the dollar... And, of course, we dollar vigilantes have prime seats and are positioned to profit from that inevitability.  We thought Helicopter Ben was a literal gold mine but Janet Yellen will easily surpass him as a great source of mockery and profitability.

Let's talk about the lighter side first before we get into how she will oversee the complete destruction of the US economy and dollar.

YELLEN THE COMEDIAN

On Monday she gave a speech in Chicago that had me spitting up my enchiladas in bursts of laughter so bad I had to ask my maid to clean off my computer monitor!

Her style, though, is a dramatic change from her predecessors.  

Alan Greenspan was so good at using language that was confusing and meaningless, the term "Fed speak" was coined to refer to his vague statements. In his book, "The Age of Turbulence," Greenspan revealed that this method of avoiding the issues directly when a clear message wasn't desired was not unintentional. The confusion was used to prevent unintended jolts to the markets as confusing statements are typically just ignored.  In other words, Greenspan actually admitted to purposely saying unintelligible things and no one found this odd.

Ben Bernanke's style differed in that he did not just make up random sentences like some sort of scrabble game but actually spoke in English but usually avoided any real substance.  Usually murmurring and looking scared he would give short, curt responses to questions without really saying much and avoiding any real commentary.

Janet Yellen, on the other hand, is quite verbose it appears.  The media disliked her first press conference because she actually stated some actual facts and info that the market could actually understand.  So, in her latest public speaking engagement, yesterday in Chicago, she mostly talked about all manner of ridiculous things as I'll point out.

The most notable inanity was that she used the same technique as the President uses at the State of the Union theater.  She actually brought up and went into great detail on the plights of three different real people.  The only thing missing was having some hired mercenary from the barrio missing a limb to point at and request applause.  

She described how Dorine Poole lost her job during the Great Recession, caused by the Federal Reserve, and despite her clerical skills she still cannot find work.   Then she spoke of Vicki Lira who lost her job processing mortgage applications when the Federal Reserve caused the housing bubble and subsequent crash.  And she spoke of Jermaine Brownlee, a construction worker who cannot find work after the housing crash... a situation again caused by the Federal Reserve.

This, I suppose, is the grandma looking new Fed Chairman who cares about people... real people... who have had their lives destroyed by the Federal Reserve.  And she is there to give them another kick while they are down with even more manipulations of the market to destroy more wealth.

She gave this speech at some heinous event called the "National Interagency Community Reinvestment Conference"!  Of course, anything this vague and mentioning the need for "community reinvestment" was in the old stomping grounds of the Chief Community Organizer himself, Barack Obomber.

She started off her speech by stating, "I am here today to talk about what the Federal Reserve is doing to help our nation recover from the financial crisis and the Great Recession, the effects of which were particularly severe for the people and the communities you serve."

Even that should make you guffaw, at least a little, if you have some sort of working cerebellum as the financial crisis and Great Recession was mostly caused by the Federal Reserve.

She went on, "Part of that effort has involved strengthening the financial system. New rules are in place to better protect consumers and ensure that credit is available to help communities grow."

Yes, because what is needed to make a community "grow" is more rules and restraints!

She then went on to say something which actually made no sense whatsoever.  It had my eyes crossing trying to comprehend the meaning of it, "One of the most important things you do is to help people meet the demands of finding a job in what remains a challenging economy. And that help is crucial, but I also believe it can’t succeed without two other things.  The first of these is the courage and determination of the people you serve."

Okay, so the Federal Reserve chairwoman just travelled to Chicago to tell people that the most important thing to help people find some way of supporting themselves (jobs) is......... that those people are courageous and determined!

Wow, thank you Janet for coming to Chicago to tell us that the most important thing to survive all the destruction wrought by the US government and the Federal Reserve is that people have courage and don't give up despite how many roadblocks you throw in front of them!  

So, we are all hanging on the edges of our seats, what is the second thing we need to survive this catastrophe in motion?

"It might seem obvious, but the second thing that is needed to help people find jobs…is jobs," she said.

Yes, those are her two main points she wants to get across to people about how to survive the Great Recession.  Be courageous, determined and don't forget, no matter how obvious it may be, that if people need to find jobs the thing needed is jobs.

I actually did a Google search for "Janet Yellen Alzheimers" right after just hoping there was a medical explanation for what she was jabbering on about.

Aside from those two great wisdoms about what is needed and pulling three people out of tens of millions destroyed by Fed policies to parade in front of the media she had a few more nuggets of wisdom.

She stated that the Fed is doing everything within its power to further destroy the economy by obfuscating price signals, counterfeiting money and manipulating the price of interest rates.

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Anarcho-Capitalist. Libertarian. Freedom fighter against mankind's two biggest enemies, the State and the Central Banks. Jeff Berwick is the founder of The Dollar Vigilante, CEO of TDV Media & Services and host of the popular video podcast,Anarchast. Jeff is a prominent speaker at many of the world's freedom, investment and gold conferences as well as regularly in the media.

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